TR 606
After reading the chaotic production stories coming out I knew I had to see this on the opening weekend. Francis Ford Coppola had to sell his vineyard to be able to finance this, averaging about $870,000 per minute. Not factoring in distribution costs (incl. promotion). This is his last rodeo. And what a ______ way to go.
Went to the mall, got a ticket to my local kinoplex and got a large soda. The cup was the size of a stovetop hat with the brim cut off and the machines are rigged to serve you 80% ice, 20% beverage.
Almost immediately I knew this was going to be a bomb. The screen I was at could hold, at most, about 150 people; but on opening weekend only about 8 people showed up (3 walked out halfway through). They were all 18-35 men and half of them came in with backpacks.
Because I live in England, the purchased advert slots before the screening was to beauty/cosmetic schools and a regional cosmetic dentist chain.
On the movie itself. Early on you see Lawrence Fishburne and some weird jazz drums come on and for a brief second I got flashbacks to the Hannibal TV series on NBC, which Lawrence Fishburne starred in.
For some reason the sight of Lawrence Fishburne didn't make me remember of his role in the quintessential farmertown classic, King of New York. I always love it when a still from the movie is used in the theatrical poster. Also "Not Everyone Who Runs a City is Elected" is a great tagline. What I was reminded of is that his daughter infamously chose to become a pornographic actress.
And speaking of pornographic actresses, Grace Vanderwaal (b. 2004) is in this and she plays, what is essentially a Taylor Swift analogue (they both have similar movie careers now). The thing I have always found bizarre is the media/entertainment industry always presents, never explicitly but always, as some kind of 'virginal American princess' which is something that the movie made fun of. The colosseum scene is funnier viewing it from this angle.
Shia LaBeouf was playing an annoying manlet who tries too hard in this. A toned down version of his real life persona. There were some triptych shots in this. Also a 2:1 aspect ratio. You don't see that everyday. I don't know if the problem was with framing safe areas during production or if was the teenager on minimum wage who is operates the projector.
Festival screenings of this featured a quote:
the auditorium lights brighten and a man walks on stage, between the screen and the audience, and asks Adam Driver’s protagonist a question. The protagonist, staring out into the crowd before him, answers, seemingly in real time. The man walks off stage, taking his mic stand with him, and the lights dim once more.
I was secretely hoping the distributor would have the minimum wage theatre employees at every screening but it seems they were more concerned with misleading me. The name 'David Graeber' was thrown around a lot before release, which contributed to me bothering to see this and not to pirate it in 9 months. Very misleading.
I didn't have that many notes on the movie. The real entertainment came from being in the mall. I haven't been to a proper mall since 2017 and in those 7 years, I had forgot how dysgenic these places are. Coming out of the dark theatre, my eyes barely adjusting to the harsh 6000K LEDs that were everywhere. The first thing I see is the most bimbomaxxed woman with comically large butt shots.
I was dressed in shorts, a sweatshirt and open toed sandals. It was getting cold and dark. So I try and retrace my steps back to the cycle shelters and retrieve my prized Giant OCR4 road bike. The place itself is a labrinth and you lose all sense of time and direction. I thought I had found an exit, only to wind up on the upper deck of a multi level car park. I figured "keep going counter clockwise and eventually, you'll find your bicycle"
The other exit from the car park took my past an atrium close to the toilets where a man from a nearby drinking establishment threw up all over the floor. The procedually generated population consisted of jailbait. Balrogs wearing ski masks or surgical masks. But most interesting of them all was the 1st generation Indian family.
There were multiple cases of this but at the head, was a mid 40s to mid 50s man. About 5'8 tall. Walking with his arms clasped behind his back. Dressed in blue jeans and a F1 related top. Behind him was the wife, who very clearly didn't want to be there but seeemed to be dragged along by some invisble shackle with a litter of children orbiting her. Its very hard to describe. Closest thing to it are Fallout companions.
I went to the exterior of the mall itself and walked in circles trying to find my bicycle. I got even more lost. I called it quits and got an uber back home. The bicycle belongs to the 'rogs now.
