Inaugural Farmie Awards
We take a look back at 2021.
We're jumping right in.
Sportsman of the Year
Michael Chandler.
Coming in from Bellator, Michael Chandler made a splash in 2021. Super active with 3 fights in 1 year with each fight being a fight of the year/knockout of the year contender. In addition to all this, the manlet brings in comedy to the MMA community through his "motivational speeches". Every single word out of the man's mouth sounds like a rehearsed speech a politcian/self help speaker would give and everyone loves it.
"Reporter- What did you eat for breakfast?
Chandler-When you see that bowl of cereal you gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and look yourself in the mirror and think whether you’re going to look back 10 years from now and regret whether you’ve done all you can to consume that bowl of cereal. When I married my wife I decided to accept every single breakfast opportunity anytime anywhere and that’s how I live my life, by taking every single opportunity that’s presented to me.See you at the top!"
- Anonymous Youtube commenter
Video Game of the Year
Hitman 3.
More of the same from the previous entries with the usual IO Interactive standard of quality. Additional content is coming to the game this year and I recently saw it on sale for $10 on the Playstation Store.
There is thread starting in 1950s Central Europe to 1976 Montreal to 1983 Japanaese electronics companies to 2004 Yakuza run Japanese MMA promotions to IO Interactive's World of Assassination Hitman trilogy. I am the only man with an IQ High/Low enough to notice this pattern.
Film of the Year
Buck Breaking.
Legend and Real One John Cassavetes passed away recently and he would've been proud of this choice. Tariq Nasheed's Buck Breaking. The only truly independent American film released in 15 years. Through nothing but word of mouth and the quality of the film itself, it organically became popular.
The success of Buck Breaking also led to the opening of the FBA themed Hidden History museum in Crenshaw.
There's a sequel in production.
The Jeremy Stephens Award (Clout Chaser/Dickrider of the Year)
Icycalm.
That bitch ass, pseudtard nigga who keeps copying everything I do.
No matter how hard you try kid, somethings you can't learn. You need to be born with it. There's levels to this.
Subtle Social Signal of the Year
Wearing the colour green.
For obvious reasons, I can't explain further. You're either in on this or you'll be in on it in 5 years (5 years too late).
The David Lynch Award. (Common Topics of Conversation in the Waiting Room of a Gender Reassignment Clinic.)
?????
Not sure what it is. I don't interact with these people. That Cruelty Squad game would probably be here. Recently learnt about it and it seems to be getting praise from insects. Its not really popping so I guess its failure is the problem taking care of itself.
Humanities Award
Dalauan Sparrow.
For contributions made in moving forward sociology and philosophy. I recommend looking into "The Critical Times"
I can't go without mentioning Brandon Lockhart.
Story Win of the Year.
The Taliban
The most important award of the year. I was going to give this award to Zack Snyder but Army of the Dead didn't make any money at the box office and that's a story loss. I'm not going to count unverifiable streaming numbers.
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I'm probably going to lose my job in a few weeks. I look forward to spending more time writing here.
